OSCAR NOMINEES
by Bud Buck, 2/18/00

Dc: This is DCR, an enhanced reality program. Hollywood announced the Oscar nominees this week. Observers have noted that this year's candidates are "character driven,", meaning there are no epic films on big big themes that are clearly meant to last for the ages.
This situation makes the voting of the academy difficult and also a lot more interesting. Film is widely thought to be the most powerful form of media. But we wondered how big an impression the film industry really makes, so we sent Bud Buck out into the street to find an average person. Bud?

(sfx: street, pedestrians)

Bud: Yes, I'm here in the street ... well, not actually IN the street ... that would be foolish. I came here looking for the uninspired opinion of the ordinary individual. The average Jane, the average Joe. The drab, pathetic, 9 to 5 drone that Hollywood has exploited for decades it's hunger to consume the finances and feed the vacant dreams of the typical American family. And in my quest to find someone who exemplifies that empty shell which the movie moguls attempt to fill, I found this gentleman, Mr. Mike Quincy of Elgin, Illinois. Thank you for giving me your time.

Mike: Well, I'm a drab pathetic drone like you say, so my time isn't worth that much anyway.

Bud: Tell me about your favorite movies from last year.

Mike: I don't remember any movies specifically from last year.

Bud: You said you love movies.

Mike: I do.

Bud: You must remember something.

Mike: No.

Bud: Maybe you didn't see any movies.

Mike: No, I did.

Bud: And you can't remember a single one?

Mike: Well ... uh .... There was one. It was a ... a ...

Bud: Drama? Comedy? Thriller? Action film?

Mike: Yeah! Action. And it had ... um ... that Guy.

Bud: Funny Guy? Young Guy? Weird Guy? Tough Guy?

Mike: Yeah, that tough Guy. You know ... with the ...

Bud: Car? Gun? Muscles?

Mike: Muscles, yes, and he had a ....

Bud: Dog? Bandana? Butler?

Mike: Yes, yes, yes, all that! Great, stylish furniture, too. And he was trying to ... save ... um ...

Bud: Money? The city? State? Nation? Continent? World?

Mike: The world. That's it. Definitely the world.

Bud: Now we're getting somewhere. He was going to save the world from?

Mike: Oh! Geez. I knew you'd ask that. It was a ...

Bud: Monster? Alien?

Mike: No.

Bud: Epidemic? Pollution?

Mike: Not that.

Bud: Jane Austen?

Mike: Nope. It began with a "C .."

Bud: Campaign. Corporation? Dot-com? Catastrophe?

Mike: Catastrophe.

Bud: So it was a muscular Guy with a butler and a dog, saving the world from a catastrophe.

Mike: Right. And he was a New York detective, did I mention that?
But there was something about him that made him different from the other detectives. He was ...

Bud: A robot. Ten feet tall. Wore a dress.

Mike: No ... he ...

Bud: Flew a glider. Could become invisible. Bent steel with his hands.

Mike: Bent the rules! He had a kind of a street justice thing going on. Dealing with the criminal element ...

Bud: In the only language they understood!

Mike: Right. Exactly.

Bud: The harsh, unforgiving language of the streets!

Mike: That's it! Did you see it?

Bud: I don't know. I don't think so.

Mike: And he was in love with ... a ... um ...

Bud: Convict. Reporter. Stripper. Politician. Rookie cop.

Mike: Yes! A rookie cop. His partner.

Bud: Who was always needing to be rescued because she was too green and too ethical to bend the rules.

Mike: Yes!

Bud: She couldn't speak ...

Mike: ... the harsh, unforgiving language of the street! But he taught her to, and by the end of the film she was very good.

Bud: And you liked this because ...

Mike: It seemed real. To me. Very real.

Bud: Like your own life?

Mike: Ha! No! Not THAT real.
I think they got married or started dating.

Bud: At the end of the film.

Mike: No, after the film, in life. But she left him for that goofy Guy in those screwball comedies. I read it in People magazine.

Bud: One man's recollection of his personal choice for "Best Film" in 1999.

Mike: You know, I'm thinking now it might not have been very good after all. But I'll never forget it.

Bud: Just one member of the film loving public, enjoying the thrill, the suspense and the glamour of Oscar nomination week. This is Bud Buck!

Dale Connelly Reporting Home