MILLIONAIRE GUY
by Howard Stiffle, 2/25/00

Dc: This is DCR, a news program not to be taken seriously.
The news has been full of comment and criticism surrounding a recent TV program that included a live, on-air marriage of two complete strangers.
It was another sad chapter in the depressing history of American television. A sad chapter that yielded high ratings, albeit for one night only.
The high ratings are apparently the result of the original question striking a chord with people. That question … Who Wants to Marry a Multi-millionaire … apparently gets a "yes" answer more often than we know. But now, with the TV debacle, more people are coming forward to say this kind of wedding between a millionaire and a common person, is not all it's cracked up to be. Howard Stiffle reports.

Howard: When Louie Parker said "I do" to Samantha Carr, he assumed he was saying "yes" to a brand new life.

Louie: I had it all figured out. She was going to support me. Her company is worth a billion, and she's … well, it's her company. Not that I was marrying her for money alone. I wasn't. I love her for herself. It's just that herself is … loaded.

Howard: It was every little boy's dream come true. A fairy tale romance with a beautiful princess leading to a life of comfort and privilege and ease.

Louie: Samantha works a lot. I knew that … in fact I was kinda counting on it. I like hunting and fishing and hiking and stuff like that, and she spends 18 hour days in the office. So I figured I could have any kind of gear I wanted … and wide open days to do whatever I like. And when she took a vacation, maybe we'd go to the Super Bowl, or the Masters.

Howard: But after Louie and Samantha tied the knot, his dreams of first class life began to unravel.

Louie: Really, we hadn't spent much time together.
I know it sounds silly, but I didn't even see the house where we'd live until after the wedding.

Howard: And?

Louie: What a pathetic little dump!

Howard: (vo) Little did Louie Parker know, his new wife, the multi millionaire, was not the person he expected her to be.

Louie: When I found out where the money came from, I was flabbergasted.
It had literally never occurred to me that she got rich that way.

Howard: What was it? Drugs? Crime?

Louie: No, no.

Howard: Worse?

Louie: (having a hard time with this) In a very short period of time just after we got married it became crystal clear to me that Samantha was incredibly, almost pathologically STINGY!

Howard: Oh no! I'm so sorry!

Louie: I thought I was abandoning just a few of my core values to live a life of luxury. And then I discovered my silver godess is as cheap as an old boot! You should see the car she drives! A 1974 Dodge Dart!

Howard: Didn't you see it BEFORE the wedding?

Louie: Whenever she picked me up … it was in a company car. Sometimes with a driver, but never, ever, in her personal vehicle. I have a better car than she does, and I work in a bagel shop.

Howard: (vo) Louie Parker says he was surprised … stunned at the realization that his new multi millionaire wife was a skinflint. But he shouldn't have been, says Dana Selby, author of the book "The Eagle Grins."

Selby: Most millionaires get that way by pinching pennies … nickels … dimes … even the new Sacagawea dollars. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. They have money because they hate to spend it, but in the popular imagination millionaires are a reckless bunch. Not true.

Howard: So Louie Parker … should have known better?

Selby: Many people should know better. They say "I'm gonna marry a millionaire or a multi millionaire and stop working! I'll just shop or hunt" or whatever. Forget that. What they really want is somebody with a good job, a good salary … who likes to share nice things … and always seems to be running out of money.

Howard: That doesn't sound very attractive.

Selby: If you want to be given a lot of nice things, an impulsive, reckless spender … that's the way to go.

Howard: It's a lesson that Louie Parker learned the hard way.

Louie: After I saw the crummy little house and the beaten down rustbucket of a car … I said to her … "Samantha, sweetie, you're worth millions. Why not loosen up the purse strings a bit?"
And she said … I'll never forget it … she said "I AM loosening up. I'm gonna help you pay for the wedding." (rueful chuckle) Help YOU pay for the wedding. I … invited everybody I knew. I thought she was paying for the wedding. But … we split it down the middle. I can't argue with her. She knows TONS of lawyers.

Howard: I'll bet that was a stunner.

Louie: I'm getting what I deserved. She still works a lot, so I've added more hours at the bagel shop. And I'm saving my own money to be a real nice thermal sleeping bag.

Howard: For camping?

Louie: For sleeping on the floor. We don't have a big enough bed, and who knows when we'll ever get one. I sure don't have the money. And she … she's always working.

Howard: Louie Parker is just one man … a man who married for money … and could have stayed hidden with his embarrassment and shame. But he decided to speak up. Because he knew that other men might benefit from his heart breaking experience.

Louie: I guess if I could say one thing to men out there who are … doing a little gold digging … it's this: Don't think for a minute that her money will grease the skids of your happiness. It's a myth. Don't marry for money. Marry for something real, and lasting, and meaningful … like the way she looks in a swimsuit.

Howard: Louie Parker … Sadder but wiser … or just plain sadder? Unfortunately his advice comes too late to help the one person whose life he'd most like the change … Louie Parker himself.
I'm Howard Stiffle.

Dale Connelly Reporting Home