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Leslie: Here now the news, I'm Leslie Generic.
Badger: It's a prediction, not a guarantee. Phil observes. He advises. He's a GROUNDHOG for Pete's sake. I can tell you Phil is very upset about how things have gone but he did his job this year exactly the same way he's done it in the past! And I don't get the point of the lawsuit. My client has very little money. I make sure of that.
Leslie: Groundhog representative Marvin Badger. He says Punxsuatawney
Phil will vigorously fight the charges, as soon as he is done hibernating.
Bandwagon: Let's face it you put your money on the wrong horse. You didn't have a winning hand. You didn't keep your eye on the ball you struck out and wound up in the rough on the wrong side of a tight race. Winners win. Losers get out of town.
Leslie: Jeff Bandwagon of America Loves Winners. Most voters who cast
their ballots for losing candidates in the primaries have refused to
drop out, saying they have sufficient funds to stay allive and will
vote again in the general election.
Female scientist: The astronauts brought in all this data on hundreds of digital tapes. It's an awesome amount of information. So I said to my male counterparts in the lab, I said, "Hey, let's look at the maps." And they said "We already know where we are. What do we need maps for?"
Leslie: NASA officials dispute the claim. The agency's Director of Denials, Charles Nay, said there is universal enthusiasm for the mapping project.
Nay: The maps are SO good, SO detailed, SO unlike anything we've had before. I happen to know when the first images were posted several of our scientists were jostling for position trying to see the map and find their houses.
Leslie: Maps from the Endeavour's latest mission will be available
to the general public in the year 2003.
(sfx: press conf, cameras, etc.)
Clutz: We certainly don't try to goof up, but when we do if you make a big deal out of it, it's just going to shake our confidence. If I rotate the wrong patient's kidneys, or remove someone's heart when I'm supposed to be taking out their gall bladder I'll be much more likely to respond to a pat on the back and a "better luck next time," than a big fuss over something I can't change.
Reporter: Dr. Clutz what would you say to the family of a victim of this kind of mistake?
Clutz: I don't like that word "mistake." What it really is is an "Inadvertent Outcome of Appopriate Treatment."
Reporter: But what would you say?
Clutz: After I say I'm sorry? (pause) Please don't sue me.
Leslie: Dr. David Clutz. He says when a patient dies unexpectedly it
should be called an "inadvertent treatment outcome," rather
than a "mistake." "Everyone will feel better about it,"
says Dr. Clutz, "except the grieving relatives, but they feel bad
Kent: She needs a lift. I can't tell you how many times I go to her crib and there she is crying. For no apparent reason! So I say "what's bothering you, honey? Do you want to talk about it?" And you know she doesn't say a word. We've gotta have some drug to take care of this.
Leslie: Judge says for his daughter's first birthday, he's planning
to give her a gift certificate to Starbucks.