BANFLAB
by Dale Connelly, 4/21/00

Dc: This section of our show is brought to you by Banflab.
What is it? Ask your doctor!

Tk: Doctor? I have a question.

Dc: Mmm?

Tk: I saw a TV ad that said I'm supposed to ask you about Banflab.

Dc: Yes. What about it?

Tk: Should I take it? Do I need it?

Dc: Do you think you need it?

Tk: I … I've been feeling a lot of stress lately because I've got a lot of money in high tech stocks.

Dc: Hmmm?

Tk: I don't know if you follow the market, but …

Dc: I beg your pardon. I'm a DOCTOR.

Tk: Of course, of course. So you know that the Nasdaq has gone in the dumper the past couple of weeks.

Dc: And you think Banflab will help relieve that?

Tk: I don't know! I don't know if ANYTHING will relieve it, but I've lost 300 million and I don't know what to do!

Dc: You had that kind of money? I had no idea.

Tk: Nobody knew. I bought a hundred shares of BubbleTec way back when it was five dollars. It started to do well and I got excited. I put everything into BubbleTec. I've been watching it go up and up and up. It's made me very happy. Really, the past couple of years, I've felt GREAT.

(sfx: flipping through papers on chart)

Dc: Hmmm, yes. You've had some very good check ups. But in all that time … you didn't say anything to me about any stocks.

Tk: I was keeping it to myself. I was gonna get richer than everybody.

Dc: You should always tell your doctor when you've found a good stock.

Tk: Forgive me … But you see what happened!

Dc: Oh, I would have been out of it by now.

Tk: Really?

Dc: And I would have told you to get out too … if you'd talked to me.

Tk: Gee … I should have mentioned Banflab earlier!
But now .. I have this pain in my stomach that won't go away.
Will Banflab help that?

Dc: No, not at all. But try some of this.

(sfx: paper tearing off pad)

Tk: But what about Banflab?

Dc: Banflab? You don't need it anymore.
Banflab is designed to get you to talk to your doctor.

Tk: That's it?

Dc: That's all it does. Feel better?

(music: fade in)

Tk: And you know what? I do feel better! Oh, my stomach still hurts when I look at the stock ticker … but my doctor advised me to buy low and sell high!
I'm glad I mentioned "Banflab." Try it! You'll be glad you did!

Dc: Banflab! B-A-N-F-L-A-B. What does it do? It gives you and your doctor something to talk about. Just Ask!

Dale Connelly Reporting Home