FISHING TECHNOLOGY
by Wendy Vapors, 4/21/00

Dc: The fishing season is about to begin, and each year technology changes the sport in ways never before imagined. Wendy Vapors reports.

(sfx: computer keypad beeps … data being entered)

Wendy: It's six o'clock in the morning, and Jack Costello is in his Minneapolis basement, getting ready to go fishing.

Jack: It's really important that I double check the coordinates.

(sfx: rustle of folding papers, maps)

What I do is … I have to hold the map right up by the screen so there can be no question that the lake is where I think it is … see there … and there.

Wendy: You've been doing lots of math. There are little pieces of scratch paper everywhere.

Jack: This is why I laugh when people say technology makes fishing too easy. Back when I did conventional fishing, I got up at 4 o'clock to go out. Now … I get up at 3 and start work on my computations.

(sfx: computer rhythmic beeping … it's set)

Ok … it's time. Ready? Let's count it down! 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1.

(sfx: one, two, three small rocket launches)

There they go! Beautiful!

Wendy: Jack Costello has just launched three highly sophisticated "Cruise Lures." The tiny missiles are made by a start-up technology firm called "Bubble Tec." Lynn LeVoi is Bubble Tec's Marketing Director.

Lynn: The fish / human relationship is … well, I wish I could make it pretty and nice, but it's not. At BubbleTec, we're committed to bringing the latest military technology … to the lake.

Wendy: Doesn't this take the "sport" out of "sport fishing?"

Lynn: Sport? This is war.

Wendy: Gil Finney writes a "new products" column for "Fish Buster' magazine.

Gil: This BubbleTec Cruise Lure … is a time saver. It used to be you'd drive all the way to the lake, put the boat in the water, park the car, find a spot and so forth and so on … and you never knew if you were gonna catch anything. Now … you really can KNOW … even before you leave home.

Wendy: In his basement, Jack Costello is intently watching three small TV monitors.

(sfx: constant "homing" beeps under)

Jack: Number one here is closing in on the lake … I'll use the joystick to nudge it a bit left here … left …
… we're coming down now … down … down and IN the water!

Wendy: Oooh. Look at all that murky brown stuff!

Jack: (sfx: constant "homing" beeps under)
Yes, the lure is propelling itself like a submarine through the depths. There's a shadow over to the right … I'm going hard right … look at it … getting bigger … yes!

Wendy: How can you see anything?

Jack: Instinct. Experience. That shape is a walleye, I think. The hook is deployed … gonna try to get him on the first try … here we go … and …

(sfx: tone goes steady)

… Agh!

Wendy: Did you get it?

(sfx: tone out)

Jack: It's an old boot! Look at that! Drat. All that money wasted.

Wendy: What about the other lures?

Jack: The other ones … yes! Of course!

(sfx: keyboard clicks)

Number two … number two … where are you?

(sfx: constant "homing" beeps under)

Underwater already … looking for targets …

Wendy: What's that?

Jack: Where?

Wendy: Over there! Go left. Left!

Jack: I see it. Look at the mouth on that baby! Our hook is deployed. Steady! Steady! Open wide … and … GOT IT!

(sfx: joyous beeping)

Wendy: Yippee!

Jack: I hooked a fish! Yee hah! I did it from my basement here in South Minneapolis. Unbelievable!

Wendy: That's amazing!

(pause)

Wendy: Now what?

Jack: Now I tell the on board computer to have the lure drag my catch over to the nearest shoreline … and then I note the reading on the global positioning system … get in the car … drive up there … retrieve my fish!

Wendy: What about lure number three?

Jack: Number three! Ooops!

(sfx: keyboard clicks)

Number three, number three … come on … come … uh oh.

Wendy: What is it?

Jack: Looks like number three … Oooh … hit a hospital!

Wendy: Uh oh.

Jack: No injuries though … It got tangled in the wind sock at the helipad.

Wendy: Not a bad day's fishing for techno-angler Jack Costello.
But is this really a better way to fish?
Once again, BubbleTec marketing director Lynn LeVoi.

Lynn: The customers are telling us Yes! They love this. In some families it's taken the place of video games AND fishing.

Wendy: But it's expensive!

Lynn: So what? Sell the boat!

Wendy: But you'll miss the solitude of being out on the lake.

Lynn: That's OK. You've still got the solitude of sitting in front of the computer. Solitude is solitude. And here … you're out of the wind.

Wendy: BubbleTec Cruise Lures … they're the latest new development as the technology of modern warfare is unleashed … on fish.
I'm Wendy Vapors, and I'm reporting.

Dale Connelly Reporting Home