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Leslie: Here now the news, I'm Leslie Generic.
B. Marty: Some days the markets are way up. Some days they're down. Then up. Then down. On Monday they say "earnings are important." On Tuesday nope. It's potential. They don't seem to know what they want or how they want to be, especially that pesky little NASDAQ. I think everybody associated with these markets should ask themselves "Am I enabling this behavior?"
(sfx: cameras out)
Leslie: Market therapist B. Marty Barry. He and the panel recommend
continued counseling for the Dow, the Nasdaq, and the poor Standard
and Poor's 500.
Rep: Knotwell: I asked myself
where did my shoes come from?
Leslie: House member Alice Knotwell.
Hugh: We're really happy this is finally going through.
Sara: Not happy. That's not what you meant.
Hugh: Yes I did.
Sara: Happy's the wrong word. Relieved.
Hugh: (annoyed) Ok. I guess we're relieved, then.
Sara: We've been in limbo it's been torture.
Hugh: Not torture. Torture's serious. But it HAS been uncomfortable.
Sara: (hurt) It felt like torture to me.
Leslie: Nevada officials say thousands of couples have expressed an interest in entering a formal state of "Contradicting Symbiosis," although since the state started to keep records virtually every pair on the list have changed their minds at least once.
The US Supreme Court ruled this week that a bus passenger who put his
luggage in an overhead rack had his privacy violated when police squeezed
the bags in a search for drugs.
Stash: It's a short step from being a baggage "handler" to being a baggage "feeler." I think it's pathetic the way some people grope other people's carry-ons. That whole thing with Mr. Whipple and the toilet paper got America started on a "squeeze mania." The court was right to crack down on this perversion.
Leslie: Against the ruling, Darcy Blows of the Sensitive Mothers' Council.
Darcy: Will this ruling allow me to squeeze my child's backpack when
she comes home from school? Is it still OK to tell, with one firm touch,
if my son removed the carrots from his lunch bag?
Leslie: Darcy Blows of the Sensitive Mothers.
The arrest this week of a young hacker in connection with the attack earlier this year against several prominent Internet web sites has led to a decision by many local police departments to collect profiling information on e-criminals. Lawrence Arabia is the Sheriff of Omar, Nebraska.
Sheriff: If you're a white teenager who doesn't know how to dress,
we'll be watching you. If you've got a computer in the basement and
you go there to eat pizza and download MP3 files, we'll be watching.
Leslie: Omar Sheriff Larry Arabia.