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Dc: This is DCR, a news program that's reality free. It's been a big week for child development experts. Just about anyone with any kind of degree in the field has been able to get an interview on TV or radio or in the newspaper, and sometimes all three. One of the experts in demand has been our living and loving correspondent and a man who is a bottomless well of wellness, B. Marty Barry. Thanks for making time for us.
(sfx: winding up clock, ticking)
Bmb: I have just a few minutes. Barbara Walters has asked for me again, so the timer's running!
Dc: I thought you worked with adults. I didn't know you were a child development expert.
Bmb: I do work with adults. Exclusively.
Dc: And you don't even have children.
Bmb: I don't think a person with children should try to be a child development expert. Certainly not with my schedule of interviews and press conferences. Not to mention the seminars and the book signings.
Dc: And writing the books too.
Bmb: Yes, even that takes a little time. A parent who was trying to do this wouldn't have any energy left for parenting. And parenting is the most important job there is, even though there's no money in it.
Dc: So you don't work with children?
Bmb: In a sense I do, but now they drive their own cars and have cell phones. Everything goes back to childhood. In a real sense, it's never over.
Dc: So you're saying we can't tell anything from a child's behavior? We have to wait and see the adult?
Bmb: Adults are easier to judge. The cuteness of children is confusing.
Dc: I remember that. He got lots of press.
Bmb: A seven year old driving a car!
Dc: It's cute.
Bmb: Well, not really, it's not.
Dc: He got a free year's supply of cereal and a bike in the bargain.
Bmb: Yes, we are constantly sending the wrong message to children
If you act like an adult and are unarmed, it's cute and we'll forgive
Dc: How do we do that?
Bmb: I've made a list.
(sfx: timer bell and ticking stop)
We all should really know these without thinking. It's sad that I have to say anything at all.
Dc: But why do people
Bmb: Sorry, gotta go! Mail me my check, OK?
Dc: Your check?
Bmb: That's not cute. Remember to tell your listeners, even though I've never met any of them, I care about each and every one very, very, very, very much. Gotta go!
(sfx: footsteps off mic)
Dc: B. Marty Barry is a licensed therapist, our living and loving correspondent
(sfx: door open and close)
and a bottomless well of wellness.