BEDEVILED ELECTORS
by Dale Connelly, 12/15/00

Dc: This is DCR, a news program not to be believed. It seems as though the presidential race has been settled, but with the upcoming date for the electors to cast their votes for president, there is concern that the individuals chosen for the task will not follow the accepted procedure and might actually vote their own minds, rather than vote to reflect the policy of their respective states - usually a "winner take all" slate. Is anything being done to prevent electors from going bad? Stan Patrick reports.

(sfx: basketball game in bg)

Stan: It's midnight in Tallahassee, and the gym is open. Alison Tally runs this publicly funded exercise program.

Alison: Basically it's a way for electors to occupy their minds in a positive way. If they weren't playing basketball, they'd be hanging out with partisan lawyers and other bad influences, or just lying in their beds at home agonizing over what to do.

Stan: But is midnight basketball the real solution to the problem of electors who don't know how to behave? I asked a few of them to talk to me during a break in the action.

Elector 1: I think we all know the right thing to do. At least we know what's expected.

(group agrees)

Elector 2: But when you get to thinking … what we MIGHT do as opposed to what we're SUPPOSED to do …

Elector 3: Most people don't get a chance to make history … ever.

Elector 1: And if we do what's expected … then our names will be forgotten. Completely.

(group agrees)

Elector 2: But break with the plan … vote for the guy you're not supposed to … and in an election this close you have the chance to be remembered FOREVER!

(group agrees with energy and spirit)

Stan: But isn't that a kind of infamy, rather than fame?

Elector 1: Only for half the population. To the other half, you're a hero.

Elector 2: What's better, being loved by a few close friends and being unknown to the world at large, or being known by EVERYBODY?

Elector 3: And your close friends will still love you, no matter what!

(group agrees)

Elector 1: This is the torment of being an elector in the year 2000.

Alison: (quick approach) Ok, break it up folks, break it up. Are you here to play basketball, or not? Come on, move it, move it!

(sfx: whistle)

Electors: Ok, ok. I guess. Here we go. (etc)

(sfx: playing resumes and fades under)

Stan: As the electors move back out on to the court, I can see in their eyes that they desperately need this distraction. Left to think and discuss the historic importance of what they are about to do, the demons of temptation creep up and begin to sway them towards taking actions that they know would be wrong.

Alison: Basically, they're real good inside. A lot of people don't think so … they see a group of electors coming down the street and head for the sidewalk on the opposite side. But I think in their hearts they're really decent, and they just need someone to hold their hands and exert a positive influence on them, so they can act right and be proud of themselves.

Stan: And so the work continues, keeping impressionable electors out of trouble … one at a time, bit by bit, late at night … playing basketball as they prepare themselves

Dale Connelly Reporting Home