Sherpa - Failure to Yield
January 30, 2003

Listen (How to Listen)

Dale Connelly: This section of our show is brought to you by the Sherpa Sport Utility Vehicle from Intimida. It's a Mighty Big Car!

(music: theme)

And a Mighty Big Car can come in Mighty Handy when you're driving in Minnesota, known nationally as home of selfish drivers who refuse to yield.

(sfx: honk honk)

Jim Ed Poole: Hey! Whaddaya think yer doin'? I'm drivin' here!

DC: It's common to find people in Minnesota who feel no need to make any special effort to allow you on to the freeway.

JEP: This is MY LANE, Buddy!

(sfx: honk honk)

DC: In fact, some drivers will SPEED UP to make sure you join the flow of traffic BEHIND them, because safety isn't nearly as important as their personal victory over YOU.
(sfx: honk!)

JEP: Go back up the ramp and try again, sucker! Ha ha ha ha!

DC: But when you have a Sherpa, another driver's failure to yield becomes less of a problem, thanks to Intimida's Merging On Right Onboard Notification System, or MORONS.

(sfx: rumbling/stampede)

As you gather speed down the ramp your Sherpa, through it's unique combination of velocity and weight, sends a series of subtle invisible signals to the four wheeled community ... notifying freeway drivers that you are about to join them, ready or not.

JEP: Hey, what's that rumbling? My Fuzzbuster is jumpin' off the dashboard, here.

DC: As you near the point of confluence, where the ramp meets the right hand lane of traffic, nearby drivers will notice a sudden change in lighting.

JEP: What happened to the sun? Is it some kinda eclipse?

DC: These discreet tactile and visual cues alert competing motorists that another vehicle is entering the flow of traffic.

In the final stage, as they look to the right, drivers will notice ... towering above the roof line of their own car ... the enormous wheels of your Sherpa as you move to complete your merge.

JEP: Yiiiii!

(sfx: screech and honk)

DC: With a very direct, insistent kind of persuasion, the case is made and room is created. You're on the freeway and headed to your destination ... with minimum disruption. It's quick and courteous! And ... in many cases, drivers who made room for you will roll down their windows to say thanks!

(sfx: honk)

JEP: MORON!

DC: That's right! It's called Merging On Right Onboard Notification! MORON!

JEP: I'm not a MORON! You're a MORON!

DC: Completely solve the problems caused by other drivers' and their failure to yield. Every new Sherpa from Intimida has MORONS as standard equipment. The Sherpa from Intimida! It's a Mighty Big Car!