Spendie/Popper - Spanpax 1
March 3, 2003

Listen (How to Listen)

(music: theme)

Dale Connelly: This section of our show is brought to you by Spendie/Popper - The Drug Company. Makers of BanFlab, NeutraChump and SpanPax.

Jim Ed Poole: I was anxious. A lot of things were getting on my nerves. I felt jumpy and ill-at-ease, so I went to see my doctor. And he said:

DC: Anybody who's not feeling anxious today has got something wrong with them, in my opinion.

So ... basically ... you're fine.

Go home and wait there until you get my bill.

JEP: I went home but the anxious feeling didn't go away.

I decided to escape by watching television.

Everything I saw made me more anxious.

Until I saw ... an ad for SpanPax!

(filtered TV sound w/ soothing music)

Anncr: Feeling nervous? Ill-at-ease?

JEP: Yes!

Anncr: SpanPax can help you feel better about absolutely everything.

Better about politics. Better about the economy.

Better about what you're being told ... and NOT told!

JEP: That's what I need!

Anncr: How about your doctor?

Do you feel like your doctor is hiding something?

JEP: I sure do!

Anncr: Go back. Tell your doctor to come clean. Because things that are mean ... Shouldn't come between ... You and the green ... The green pill ... SpanPax.

JEP: SpanPax!

Anncr: Ask your doctor to spill the beans about the green pill!

(music: tv music ends)

JEP: So I went back, and boy was my doctor surprised to see me!

DC: What are YOU doing back here?

JEP: I came back to ask you about SpanPax!

Why didn't you tell me!

DC: Well ... you've caught me. I withheld the information because I don't think you deserve a drug as good and effective as SpanPax.

JEP: So ... in spite of your training ... ?

DC: (scoffs) Training? I'm trained to say whatever I want. I didn't think you'd find out about it. I should have asked if you watch TV.

JEP: It's a good thing the people at Spendie/Popper, makers of SpanPax, decided to go around you and diagnose me directly through the television. I not just asking ... I'm demanding SpanPax!

DC: (sigh) I suppose this means you won't be coming back for another appointment anytime soon.

JEP: Be sure to put "unlimited refills" on that prescription, doc! SpanPax has me feeling more confident already!

Spendie/Popper—The Drug Company—says "Ask your doctor to quit giving you the runaround!" Ask about SpanPax! And feel better about absolutely everything!