Genway - Bullwinkle Salmon
March 10, 2003

Listen (How to Listen)

(music: bali hai)

Dale Connelly: This section of our show is brought to you by Genway, the supermarket for genetically engineered foods. Where the special this week is Bullwinkle Salmon.

Here's the produce manager of Genway, Dr. Larry Kyle.

Jim Ed Poole: Yes ... our famous Bullwinkle Salmon is on sale this week ... part salmon, part moose, it grows fast and quickly becomes huge.

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Heh heh heh heh ... That's the moose part. And the fish also supports a beautiful rack ... great for trophy display on your kitchen wall. Heh heh heh. It also makes them easy to catch. Imagine ... a fish with a handle.

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We pull them right out of the water!

DC: Dr. Kyle, this is a controversial fish, correct?

JEP: Everything we do is controversial, but yes, the Bullwinkle Salmon is drawing the ire of whiners and activists who think one will swim away from our pen and mate with other ordinary salmon and go on crime fighting adventures with squirrels.

But I'm here to tell you it won't happen. The moose is a shy, retiring creature. A real boring kind of homebody.

We made sure that quality made the transition when we created Bullwinkle Salmon ... We even enhanced it with DNA taken from 35-year-old human male computer geeks who still live in the folk's basement and never leave the house.

With that kind of genetic background, our Bullwinkle Salmon aren't about to leave the pen. And even if they did, mating is simply out of the question. It's not going to happen.

(sfx: bolt)

Heh heh heh heh. But if it's a slab of salmon you want, Genway is the right place this week!

DC: The special ... giant fish ... the famous Bullwinkle Salmon.

JEP: There are no small bones to get caught between your teeth. They're all enormous. Bring a baggie for Fido!

DC: If you like your foods refined, try the redefined foods of Genway ... the supermarket for genetically engineered foods, Dr. Larry Kyle, produce manager.