from The 2003 Morning Show Holiday Pageant and Variety Show

Act III

Listen

Georgia Bailey—Beth Gilleland
Clarence the Angel—Bubby Spamden (Jim Ed Poole)
Mr. Potter—Bud Buck (JEP)
Uncle Billy—Captain Billy (JEP)
Mr. Gower—Larry Kyle (JEP)
Don Reed—Tony Bennett (JEP)
Guy 2 , Neighbor, Cop—Jim Ed Poole
Gal 1, Mom, Mrs. Banks—Marcy Marxer
Gal 2, Donna—Cathy Fink
Franklin, Guy 1, Lackey, Inspector, Ted—Dale Connelly
Piano—Dan Chouinard
SFX—Alan Frecthman

(music: theme)

Clarence: So ... Georgia Bailey didn't go on her honeymoon?

Franklin: She meant to, but something happened along the way.

(music: theme out)

Georgia: (fade up) ... and then we'll ride the Flying Dumbos, and then (sings w/Don) "It's a Small World After All ... It's .." Hey! What's going on at the shop? Stop the car! It's a panic. A run on the dry cleaners!

(sfx: car stop, doors open, crowd hubbub) (cd 3A1)

Don: Please, get back in the car! (fade) Georgia! Our honeymoon!

Georgia: What's going on, folks? Nice night! Trying to get in?

Guy 1, Gal 2: Shhhhhhh!

(sfx: crowd hubbub out) (cd 3A1 >)

Guy 1: I wanna pick up my stuff.

Gal 1: Me too! We all do!

(sfx: crowd hubbub up) (cd 3A1 >)

Georgia: Sure, sure. Let me unlock the door. Come on in, folks.

(sfx: keys) (live)
(sfx: shop door open, w/bell) (cd 3B1)
(sfx: crowd hubbub down) (cd 3A1 >)

Plenty of room. Why look! Here's Uncle Captain Billy, working hard! Billy, these nice people found the doors locked!

Billy: Well ... I ... was tryin' to cut down on the rumors. Which ain't true, anyways.

Guy 1: The word is ... he got a shipment of India Ink!

(sfx: crowd hubbub up and under) (cd 3A1 >)

Gal 1: It's that shady importing business he runs!

Guy 2: I don't want clutzy pirates around my clothes with bottles of ink!

Group: I want my clothes! Give me clothes! We need all our clothes back!

Georgia: Wait! Please! Everybody!

(sfx: crowd hubbub out) (cd 3A1 >)

Your clothes aren't here! We send them out. You know that.

Ted: I want my pants!

Georgia: Ted! Your pants are at a factory, being treated with chemicals! That's what you paid for! They'll be back in two days!

Donna: What have you done with my dress?

Georgia: Donna! Your nice purple dress is with Elsie! She does all our mending ... to get money to buy medicine for little Buster for his asthma. Without your dress to mend, he wheezes all night.

Guy 2: I need my dinner jacket!

Ted: You've got our curtains!

Mrs. Banks: What about my silk matador costume?

Georgia: Now, now, Mrs. Banks. That costume has a ton of buttons. And we're making sure each one is fastened tight. Martha's going over it right now ... Don't you see? Your clothes are busy. They're working. Keeping your friends and neighbors employed. If this shop goes out of business, we all lose something.

Donna: If you don't give me my clothes, I'm going to Potter's Department store to buy new ones. And charge it to YOU, Georgia Bailey!

(sfx: crowd hubbub up and under) (cd 3A1 >)

Georgia: Wait, wait ... don't you see? This is what Potter wants ... all of us crawling to him. Naked! If we could only help each other ...

Ted: I need something to wear!

Georgia: Listen, we can get through this.

(sfx: crowd hubbub out) (cd 3A1 >)

What do you need for the next three or four days? How about it, Ted? What's the minimum?

Ted: I gotta have clean, pressed, dark pants and at least two white shirts. A jacket, size 42 regular ... and four pairs of underwear.

Georgia: (sigh) Ted ... can you make do with less?

Ted: Pants, two shirts, a jacket and four ...

Georgia: OK, OK ... um ....

(sfx: handing over w/ plastic bags) (live)

Here. Take these, and hang on to anything you find in the pockets. How about you, Mrs. Banks? Can you hold off on the bullfights a few days?

Mrs. Banks: I have to have a dress for the Christmas party at work.

Georgia: Something red?

Mrs. Banks: Green, maybe?

(sfx: handing over w/ plastic bags) (live)

Georgia: Here's red AND green. And purple. And turquoise. It's Myrtle's, but she shouldn't wear it anyway. The colors are all wrong for her. Here. Donna? Absolute miminum?

Donna: I ... I need two pairs of fresh socks.

Georgia: Donna ... bless you! You're beautiful! Two pair fresh socks! One at a time, everybody ... we're gonna make it!

(sfx: crowd hubbub up and slow out) (cd 3A1 >)
(music ominous bridge)

Franklin: And they did make it ... Because everyone helped. But it doesn't take much to turn the tide. Very soon, Georgia will wish ...

Clarence ... she'd never been born. You're absolutely sure?

Franklin: That's what I'm expecting. Watch and you'll see!

(music: bridge end)
(sfx: shop door w/ bell open and close) (cd 3A2)

Georgia: Good afternoon, sir! How can I help you?

Inspector: I'm with the Monitoring Agency for Dry Cleaning And Pressing.

Georgia: The man from MADCAP! Inspection time. Of course. Um .. I'm sure you'll find us clean! Ha ha. Little industry joke, .

Inspector: I'll have to see the complaint logbook. You keep one, don't you?

Georgia: Yes, of course. (calling) Uncle Billy? Bring the complaint book!

Billy: (off mic) What on earth does you want that old piece of trash for?

Georgia: (calling sweetly) The Man from MADCAP is here.

(sfx: footsteps with peg rapidly approach) (live)

Billy: (fading on) The dry cleaning inspector? Well ... good day to you sir. I believe you'll find everything ship shape. Ain't that right boys?

(sfx: angry men up and down) (cd 3A3)

There's few complaints, on account of our customer service is so attentive!

(sfx: shop door w/ bell open and close) (cd 3B2)

Potter: Georgia Bailey! I'm here for my topcoat.

Georgia: Mr. Potter! What a surprise! Um ...Ticket, please?

Potter: I see the coat right there. Hurry up, will you? Hand it over, already!

(sfx: handing over w/ plastic bags) (live)

Georgia: I hope you're not offended, Mr. Potter. It's just that (carefully, for benefit of inspector) ...matching a ticket with each garment is an important feature of our security measures. We run a careful, business-like operation!

Potter: (exasperated) Do you? Then what's this?

Georgia: What's what?

Potter: A huge ink stain on my topcoat! So what I heard about your uncle and the ink ... was for real! He ruined my coat!

Georgia: How could that be? Let me see ...

Potter: Oh no! You're not touching this garment! Or any of my clothes!

Georgia: Mr. Potter, I'm so sorry, but ...

Billy: This here's a frame up! We sent the ink back to Delhi! Right, boys?

(sfx:: angry men up and down) (cd 3A3 >)

Potter: Did you send my wallet there too?

Georgia: Your wallet? Mr. Potter!

Potter: You MUST have found it. It was right here in the coat pocket!

Georgia: We can't be held responsible for items left in clothing!

Potter: How convenient, since your counter man is a criminal! And a clutz! With a record! This man should NOT be handling other people's clothes!

Inspector: What's the meaning of all this?

Potter: And who are you?

Georgia: He's the man from MADCAP.

Potter: Then ... I expect you'll shut this place down right away. Check for outstanding warrants! You'll see!

Georgia: There aren't any warrants! Are there, Uncle Billy?

(music: sentimental, tender, establish and under)

Billy: Well ... there might be ... a couple. Dozen. The fact is ... I made some mistakes when I was young.

Georgia: It's all right. Everyone makes youthful mistakes!

Billy: Then, when I was a bit older, I made a few more mistakes!

Georgia: But he's learned from those mistakes, Mr. Potter!

Billy: Well now, there was an extended period in mid-life when I went on a binge of rampant mistake-makin'. (pause) But ... I'm done with it now.

(music: tender bed ends)

And I wouldn't take yer wallet, Potter! Because yer money is tainted, it is! As tainted as yer topcoat, Right, boys?

(sfx: angry men up and down) (cd 3A3 >)

Georgia: Mr. Potter, I have complete confidence in my Uncle.

Potter: Then you're a fool! I'll make sure he goes to jail and this place is shut down! (fading off) You haven't heard the last of me, Georgia Bailey!

(sfx: door open w/ bell) (cd 3B3)

Georgia: (for benefit of inspector) Well! There's one unavoidable hazard of the dry cleaning business ... the slightly dissatisfied customer.

Billy: Aye, but I believe our diplomacy turned him around a bit. (pause) Well ... he said he'd be back!

Georgia: Mr.Inspector, please don't take away my business. Or my uncle.

Inspector: It's pretty much out of my hands. You'll hear from us.

(sfx: door close w/ bell) (cd 3B4)

Billy: (sheepishly) Ding a ling - Angel just got his wings! Heh heh.

Georgia: An angel? We could use a really big one right now! Find the wallet, Uncle Billy!

(music: theme in)

Billy: I wouldn't know where to begin lookin'.

Georgia: (fade) Start anywhere. That's what I'm going to do.

Billy: But Georgia ... what's the use? Where' ya goin'?

Georgia: (off) I don't know.

(sfx: door open w/ bell) (cd 3B5)

(music: theme to end)

Act I | Act II | Act IV