from The 2003 Morning Show Holiday Pageant and Variety Show

Act IV

Listen

Georgia Bailey—Beth Gilleland
Clarence the Angel—Bubby Spamden (Jim Ed Poole)
Mr. Potter—Bud Buck (JEP)
Uncle Billy—Captain Billy (JEP)
Mr. Gower—Larry Kyle (JEP)
Don Reed—Tony Bennett (JEP)
Guy 2 , Neighbor, Cop—Jim Ed Poole
Gal 1, Mom, Mrs. Banks—Marcy Marxer
Gal 2, Donna—Cathy Fink
Franklin, Guy 1, Lackey, Inspector, Ted—Dale Connelly
Piano—Dan Chouinard
SFX—Alan Frecthman

(music: Theme)

Clarence: So ... when do I meet Georgia Bailey?

Franklin: Soon. She's sinking to her lowest point, and will soon wish ...

Both: ... that she had never been born.

Franklin: A lot of folks are worried for her. Listen!

Gal 1: Dear Lord, Georgia Bailey is missing. Please help her get home safely. And help her remember who she gave my dress to. I want it back!

Guy 2: I ... I'm not a praying man, Lord, but ... watch over Georgia Bailey tonight. And if she passes by my house, give me a sign or something, Lord. I have some shirts I'd like to send with her.

Gal 2: God, Georgia Bailey is feeling pretty low right now. Please lift the cloud of selfish pity off of her. And also, as long as I've got your attention, I would like to lose 20 pounds.

Franklin: Everyone is wondering where Georgia has gone. If they knew what I know, they would wait for her at the bridge.

Clarence: The bridge! Then I guess I'd better get going!

(music: dramatic shift to pitiful)

Georgia: (sigh) I was going to see the world. Instead I'm caring for mother. Humoring Uncle Billy. Putting up with Potter. Smiling through the stupid complaints of needy people.

(music: out)

(sigh) I wish they'd never been born!

Clarence: What's that?

Georgia: I wish they'd never been b ... who said that?

Clarence: You mean to say you wish YOU'D never been born? Right?

Georgia: No, I wish THEY'D never been born! And who are you?

Clarence: We've never met. I'm Clarence, your guardian angel.

Georgia: (laughs) A guardian angel. For me! That's good. Where have you been all my life? Out seeing the world, I hope! Lord knows I'm never going to.

Clarence: Yes, He does know. He knows a lot, although SOME things get lost in the translation, like who's going to wish who had never been born! I can't grant your wish to knock other people out of existence. I can make it so YOU were never born, if that interests you.

Georgia: Well ... nah. Not really.

Clarence: How about a deal where everyone is born, but you never meet? No! I've got it. You all get born, but as each other. Flipped!

Georgia: You mean, I'd be, like ... Uncle Billy?

Clarence: Yeah! And he could be Potter. And Potter could be your mom!

Georgia: That sounds complicated. How about this - we're all born and we're all ourselves, but they don't NEED me so much? That's what I want.

Clarence: It's hard to do the finer shades of needing-ness. It's easier to say they just don't need you at all.

Georgia: Not at all? But they'll still know me?

Clarence: They'll know you well enough to know they don't need you.

Georgia: I think that would be pretty wonderful. It's a deal.

(music: magic twinkle)

Clarence: There. It's done.

Georgia: Good, cause I have to get back to town.

Clarence: (to self) Actually, you don't.

Georgia: (fade off) It was nice meeting you ... Guardian Guy!

Clarence: (sigh) (calling) Hang on! I'm coming with you!

(music: Twilight zone/angel theme)

Georgia: Hey, where's the cleaners? I was here earlier. It was right here!

Clarence: It's closed! Your mother shut it down years ago when she developed her allergy to rayon and plastic bags.

Georgia: But ... she wanted me to take over!

Clarence: She decided she didn't need you to do that. She went to the vo-tech to learn a new career. She's a pipefitter now. But don't take my word for it. Here she comes!

(music: out)

(sfx: walking w/ heavy, clanking equipment fades up quickly) (live)

Georgia: Mom. Mother, it's me! It's Georgia. Your daughter?

Mom: (gruff, saucy) Georgia. You're back from seein' the world?

Georgia: I haven't gone anywhere. But look at you. You're a pipefitter.

Mom: (tired) Demanding work. Takes all my energy, but I love it. Good work for perfectionists. Leaks are bad.

Georgia: Mom, why didn't you ask me to take over the dry cleaners?

Mom: Dunno. Never occurred to me. Well, gotta get some sleep.

(sfx: walking and clanking fades off) (live)

Georgia: Mom, wait. Tell me about you! Mom? Do you need a ride? (To Clarence) There must be some mistake! We're family ... we're ... family! Oh my gosh! Family! Don and the kids! (quick fade) I've got to get home!

(music: bridge establish and fade out)

Clarence: Um ... that's changed too!

Georgia: (out of breath) The light's on. Thank goodness! Here goes!

(sfx: door open) (cd 4A1)

Hi Everybody! I'm back!

Don: (pause) Hello dear. How've you been?

Georgia: Don! Where are the children?

Don: The children? They've grown up! (pause) What? It happens!

Georgia: And that's IT?

Don: They call. Sometimes. Good kids. Don't need much.

Georgia: But ... I still have you, right? And you need me? .

Don: (reading paper) Uh huh. Sure do.

Georgia: I mean you really, really need me?

Don: Oh yeah.

Georgia: Good. (sigh) That's better.

Don: Well, better tend the livestock.

Georgia: The WHAT?

Don: With you gone so much I had a lot of time on my hands, so I started raising goats. They're real friendly. Takes most of the day to care for 'em. People think goats are self sufficient, but not really. They're pretty needy.

Georgia: Well, can I come along? And help, maybe?

Don: Um ... I've got my routine down pretty slick, and the goats, don't like strangers much. So ... better not. (fade) I'll be back this evening.

(sfx: goat off mic) (cd 4A2)

Coming, coming!

Georgia: No, no, no! How could this happen? It's worse than before!

(music: sympathetic bridge, establish and under)

Good Lord, I had no idea my mother would become a pipefitter, or the children could grow up without me or Don would turn to tending goats! Or it could possibly turn out that no one ... What an awful feeling! I didn't know what I had! Please, please ... don't make me live like this. I promise I won't ... wish people away from me. I'll appreciate the beauty ... in everything. Especially... in being needed.

(music: crescendo to indicate magic happening)

Hey ... it's snowing! (pause) I hate snow!

(music: sudden stop)

Wait! No! What am I thinking! Beauty in everything. Snow is fine. Snow's OK. Not complaining! Bring on the beautiful snow!

(music: starts again)

Snow is beautiful because snow means slush, and slush means ... filth! And filth means ... I'd better get down to the shop!

(music: swells)
(sfx: shop door w/ bell opens) (cd 4A3)
(sfx: crowd hubbub, urgent) (cd 4B1)

Billy: Quit crowdin' me, now! Back off, ye mutinous backstabbers, ye! Georgia ain't here and there's no way I can tend to all yer needs ...

Group: (shushing)

(sfx: crowd out) (cd 4B1 >)

Billy: ... Well hello Georgia.

Georgia: Hi Uncle Captain Billy. Hi everybody. What's going on?

Guy 1: I got dirty snowy gunk on my coat! I need you to get it clean now!

Gal 1: The kids tracked road salt all over these new Persian rugs!

Guy 2: I busted the button on my blizzard pants.

Georgia: And what's your problem?

Gal 2: I just like the way it smells in here.

(sfx: crowd up) (cd 4B1 >)

Group: I need to get my shirt pressed. Mice made a nest in my hat! There's a hole in these trousers. There's a stain on this dress! This zipper doesn't work! The lining is coming out of my jacket. Etc.

Georgia: OK! OK! Hey, hey, hey everybody!

(sfx: crowd out) (cd 4B1 >)

I just want to say ... what a great Christmas present! Thanks so much. To be needed is ... is to truly be alive! Thank you for believing in me!

(sfx: door open w/ bell) (cd 4A4)

Potter: Georgia Bailey! Your time is up!

Georgia: Mr. Potter! Come in! What a pleasant surprise!

Potter: I have a document that entitles me to seize this shop and everything in it as payment for the items that were lost when you ...

Georgia: What's that sticking out of your back pocket?

Billy: I believes it's his wallet, boys!

(sfx: angry men up and down) (cd 4A5)

Georgia: Well Mr. Potter, it seems like your lost property has been found!

Billy: What's in his OTHER pockets, boys?

(sfx: angry men up and hold) (cd 4A5 >)

Lookee here ... it's a bottle of mean pills! And what's this? A tiny vial of India Ink!

(sfx: angry men out) (cd 4A5 >)

Georgia: Mr. Potter! Did you squirt ink on your own topcoat the other day?

Potter: What if I did? It's my coat. I had my reasons. That doesn't change the fact that he's a criminal and a clutz!

Georgia: He's OUR clutz, Mr. Potter. All these people need him, and so do I! Don't we need him, everyone? Group hug, group hug!

(sfx: angry men up and down) (cd 4A5 >)

Potter: This stupid business is doomed, hear me? Doomed!

Georgia: And now, Uncle Billy, I need you to get that box out of the basement? You know the one I mean!

Billy: Aye aye, first niece! I'll be happy to oblige!

(sfx: footsteps with peg hurry off) (live)

Georgia: I've got lots of work, Mr. Potter, thanks to these good people!

Potter: Hrumph!

Guy 1: Hey Georgia, a guy left you this note!

Potter: Ha! What did I tell you? Another complaint, no doubt.

Georgia: It says ... "To Georgia Bailey - the Dry Clean Queen. As long as clouds are seeded, roads are treated and pants are pleated, you will be needed. Thanks for the wing. Love, Clarence.

Potter: What does that mean, "thanks for the "wing"?

Georgia: The wing? (calling) Uncle Billy, hurry up with that box!

(sfx: footsteps and peg fast fade up) (live)

Billy: (fade up) I'm comin ... I'm comin ... whoooops!

(sfx: loud crash of hundreds of little bells everywhere) (cd 4B2)

Uh oh. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'll pick it up.

Georgia: Let them ring! I think it's wonderful!

Potter: This is a good example of the carelessness around here.

Georgia: Uncle Billy ... look at this note. What does it say?

Billy: (reading to self) ... "Thanks for the wings?"

Georgia: That was my bad ear, Uncle Billy. What did you say?

Billy: (loudly) It says "THANKS FOR THE WINGS"!

Georgia: Wings? Has it really changed? It has! Way to go, Clarence!

(music: theme up and end)

Potter: How did you do that?

Georgia: Don't you know, Mr. Potter? They say "every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his other wing!" And this one sure deserved his!

Potter: I've never heard anybody say that.

Georgia: Well you're going to hear it, more and more and MORE! We've got lots of bells ... at least two for every angel in heaven and on Earth! Merry Christmas, everyone! Merry Christmas!

Crowd: Merry Christmas! (etc)

(music: theme up and end)

Act I | Act II | Act III